Your power to designate an agent for body disposition is honored in all states. If you are estranged from your next-of-kin or were never married to your significant other, the designated agent law allows you to name someone other than a legal spouse or next of kin. Assigning an “agent,” “representative,” or “appointed person” can be useful when one individual is more inclined to follow your wishes than another, or to prevent conflict between family members of equal kinship.
Another reason for designating an agent is when circumstances change and it becomes appropriate to change funeral plans, too. One woman’s father lived so long that none of his friends were left to come to a viewing. A public viewing for one person–just for her–didn’t make sense. Or perhaps you planned on body donation to a medical school in Idaho but died while on a trip to New York. Should your estate pay for shipping your body back to Idaho, or would you trust a person you assigned to make appropriate alternative arrangements?
IMPORTANT: Your designated agent is not obligated to carry out your wishes if they’re highly impractical, illegal, or financially burdensome. It’s very important for you and your agent to understand how much your wishes will cost, and to plan accordingly. You should not expect your designated agent to pay for a costly funeral if you don’t set money aside for that expense.
Regarding placing your funeral designations in your will, bear in mind that the will usually isn’t read until after services are well under way or completed. So consider drawing up a short, dated document as allowed by Virginia law (§ 54.1-2825). Date the document, have it witnessed or notarized, and make sure your survivors receive a copy.
Appointee Agreement for Disposition of Remains Upon Death (form)
Code of Virginia
§ 54.1-2825. Person to make arrangements for funeral and disposition of remains.
A. Any person may designate in a signed and notarized writing, which has been accepted in writing by the person so designated, an individual who shall make arrangements and be otherwise responsible for his funeral and the disposition of his remains, including cremation, interment, entombment, or memorialization, or some combination thereof, upon his death. Such designee shall have priority over all persons otherwise entitled to make such arrangements, provided that a copy of the signed and notarized writing is provided to the funeral service establishment and to the cemetery, if any, no later than 48 hours after the funeral service establishment has received the remains. Nothing in this section shall preclude any next of kin from paying any costs associated with any funeral or disposition of any remains, provided that such payment is made with the concurrence of any person designated to make arrangements.
B. In cases in which a person has designated in a U.S. Department of Defense Record of Emergency Data (DD Form 93) or any successor form an individual to make arrangements for his funeral and disposition of his remains, and such person dies while serving in any branch of the United States Armed Forces as defined in 10 U.S.C. § 1481, such designee shall be responsible for making such arrangements.
